Friday, 25 March 2011

BOMBAY - of sorts

WHERE: Bombay

WHERE (less detailed): hell on earth
WHY?: despite changing our return tickets to ensure we spend as little time back in India as possible we still have a 14hr lay-over in Bombay to endure
PEOPLE ARE: truly dreadful. Unhelpful, rude, and then have the cheek to ask why they haven't been given a tip.
WEATHER IS: as befitting the gates of hell.
HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: our short time in Bombay was beset by a quandry. Should we, despite our heavily hungover and sleep deprived state (thank you Brian) spend our last half day in Asia sight-seeing around the slums of Bombay or should we look for a cheap hotel in which to hide away from it all ... in the end we try and see if we can catch an earlier flight back to London ... the gods of sight-seeing are furious at us and send us on a two hour wild goose chase around "Bombay International in the sense that Maralria is an international disease" Airport. Having just left Bangkok's beautiful new, shiny airport Bombays offering is like something you carry a small plastic bag for when walking your dog; half empty lounges, apparently abandoned lounges. Despite their near perfect English the departure hall entrance guards don't seem to understand the idea that despite our flight leaving at 3am tomorrow morning we want to find the Lufhansa desk to ask if there is an earlier flight. thus we are refused entrance to the hall, three times .... instead are ushered to the "waiting room" in which valued passengers can wait for their flights, in a dirty room, without any means of buying food or water, and which you have to pay to use ... so we opt for a cheap hotel near-ish the airport... having agreed a price for the hotel room with the saleman, a price that includes taxes, we arrive at the hotel to face a receptionist who now wants to charge us taxes ... we sit for 30mins waiting to check in ... we then have our bags wrestled from us and are led 30ft to our room. our two "bell hops" then stand silently, each with an upwards palm extended. After a minute they ask "My tip sir"... afraid not .... we order lunch from room service (despite the skanky hotel status they do an excellent butter chicken and parathas) ... "my tip sir" ... still no .... having ordered a taxi hours ago we wait downstairs for 40mins while the clearly annoyed receptionist repeats his yogic mantra "Yes sir, two minutes, yes sir, two minutes", again our bags are wrestled from us and carried 10ft to the car "my tip sir" ... no sudden change in our tipping policy I'm afraid .... we arrive at the airport "my tip sir?", to which Paul inquires "I'm sorry but just how much should I tip the driver who forgets about his fare then turns up 40min late thus ensuring his passengers arrive bang in the middle of the check-in rush? reply: "however much you think sir?" - bad answer ....
UP NEXT: London and a 36hr catch-up



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