PUERTO ESCONDIDO & ZIPOLETE

WHERE:Puerto Escondido and Zipolete, then back to Puerto Escondido

WHERE (less detailed): the West Coast of Mexico

WHEN: 2st July to 6 Aug - our longest stay in one (actually two places) on the entire trip

WEATHER IS: beautiful sunshine, but a little cloudy a couple of days

FOOD IS: home cooked, and then through a straw for paul after his surfing accident

A MEAL COSTS: still managed to find a couple of cool burrito/taco places where dinner was $9

A BEER COSTS: thanks to the fridge in our room we bulk bought Corona's which came in at 49p a bottle

PEOPLE ARE: very nice, apart from the fat American who owned our hotel who Rhaani didn't like because he didn't ask how Paul was after the surf accidient

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: up until Paul's accident the place was great, right next to the beach, lovely little pool, Paul actually mastered surfing to an extent until his surfboard attacked him... he should have realised things were not heading his way when the surf ripped one of his surf boots off the day before ... picking a piece of the surfboard out of Paul's teeth ... a trip to a non-English speaking dentist was an experience, as was his use of thick black thread rather than dissolving stitches ... four days of yoghurt and slurping wasn't fun for either of us ... above all the most enjoyable aspect was not having to pack up our bags every other day.

UP NEXT: Mexico City

CHICHEN ITZA, UXMAL, PALENQUE

Chichen Itza, one of the 7-wonders of the world

WHERE: Chichen Itza, Uxmal, Palenque

return of the obligatory arty shot

WHERE (less detailed): three ancient Mayan sites in the Yucatan (bottom, near Cancun) part of Mexico
WHEN: too close to the end to even think about

Rhaani cleans up the town

WEATHER IS: as usual stifling, run from the sun, hot
FOOD IS: awesome, fantastic fajitas for dinner, subway sandwiches for lunch
A MEAL COSTS: buttons, £3 for a large portion of fajitas

Palenque in all its glory

A BEER COSTS: once again 70p for a bottle of sol. Mexico definitely makes the 'Top 10 places to drink yourself to death on the cheap' list

vest, beer, Paul makes Britain proud

PEOPLE ARE: pretty nice. A kind taxi driver stops his cab in the middle of the street to inform Paul that he has a 7 inch tear in his shorts, thus revealing his buttox to the world.... Our planned hostel was booked out and they kindly pointed us in the direction of another place. When we ran foul of a double booking the lady who ran the hostel gave us a lift to another place

there´s always someone who hogs the limelight

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: Rhaani in fits of giggles as Paul tries to hold his newly torn shorts together whilst booking us into our hotel ... pretending we were still 14 years old by drinking beers in the park, our park drinking was because Rhaani didn't want to risk death by entering any of the wild-west swing door saloons on offer ... ... Paul shows the true meaning of the word charity by handing over a bag of disgusting tortilla chips to a homeless person, for some reason he didnt feel quite so charitable with the tastier packet we devoured earlier ... yet another "Is this it? moment from resident culture-vulture Clemo as we arrive at Chichen Itza (one of the new Seven Wonders of the World)...

Palenque ruins, one of the best things is you're left to wander through the temples

... haggling with 12-year-olds shopkeepers in Chichen Itza ... hearing a Shakira Shakira concert from our hostel room ... discovering that we missed the last bus to the ancient wonder Uxmal because we had to lick 1,000 stamps to send a 3kg parcel to Oz ...

all we saw of the ancient wonder of Uxmal of our stamp licking exploits meant we missed the last bus to the ruins

... being far more impressed by Palenque which, though smaller and less well-known than Chichen, is far more aesthetically pleasing ... visiting the awesomely named Mr Taco and enjoying 5 Tacos for 30 pesos (£1.65) ... despite having clocked up over 10-days worth of bus travel Rhaani is unable to get comfy on our final long-ass (19-hr) bus-ride from Palenque to Puerto Escondido   

UP NEXT: Puerto Escondido, home of the famed Mexican Pipeline and Pauls last chance to get some decent surf pics.

one way of coping with the heat

ISLA MUJERES

I can't figure out how to turn the photo but I think you get the idea that it's a ruddy great fish

WHERE: ISLA MUJERES
WHERE (less detailed): a little island off the coast of Cancun
WHEN: t-34 to t-32

the now obligatory pic of white sand and palm trees, yawn

WEATHER IS: hot hot hot. Unbelievably hot. The day we do an excursion we are out of the room by 7:15am and already it's UK summer hot. Thankfully we have a white sand beach and crystal clear blue ocean just yards from our hotel room.
FOOD IS: not the best Mexican we've had but still good tacos.
A MEAL COSTS: £4 a head
A BEER COSTS: £1.25

and the now equally as boring sunset

PEOPLE ARE: unfair to those organised enough to book ahead. While Paul wilts in the glaring heat Rhaani finds us a beachfront hotel whose advertised rates say £60 a night while walk-in Rhaani  is offered a room for £30.
HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: without a doubt, the whale shark trip. Not even originally on our "to do" list we somehow fumble our way into the experience of a lifetime. Over 30ft long and totally harmless - we hope - whale sharks are the size of buses. Luckily for us we arrive at that rare moment when they all come at once. There must have been 20-30 of them, all gliding within a few feet of us. The first sighting of them takes your breathe away. Some of them are actually larger than our boat, a fact quickly illustrated as they glide under and around us. You are told not to touch them but for some reason our guide grabs Rhaani's hand, makes her touch it then puts her hand inside the things mouth, amazing ... the pristine beach and waters and the beach front bar with swings and sundown Sol beers... unfortunately not the tourist strip which serves up bad pizza and even worse souvenirs ... coming from Caye Caulker and Roatan we had expected a similarly laid-back town but unfortunately we arrived about a decade too late and the place is a little too touristy to be an island paradise ...

so just to recap, there were bloody great big fish, loads of 'em

DID YOU KNOW: in Mexican McDonalds' - our air-con haven while we wait 2hrs for our bus ride out of town - they hand out green Jalepino sauce saches along with the ketchup and serve only breakfast options until noon
UP NEXT: MERIDA, yet another pretty colonial town. By our reckoning this will be the 879th such town we've visited in the Americas. Fortunately it's also our base for day-trips to the Mayan ruins of Uxmal and Chichen Itza

TULUM

WHERE: TULUM
WHERE (less detailed): the Caribbean coast of Mexico
WHEN: 5 weeks to go till home
WEATHER: worryingly the streets are filled with puddles when we arrive but brilliant sunshine for our day in Tulum

ruins-lite, culture at 11am

FOOD IS: best Fajitas ever at a restaurant around the corner. And free nachos and dip - funny crisps and sauce mum - everywhere we go. The only thing better than free stuff is free stuff you like
A BEER COSTS: 60p for a standard bottle of Sol or Corona. A 1.25litre of Sol comes in at ￡2
PEOPLE ARE: no-speakey de English, although it's surprising how much pigeon Spanish we remember.
TEMPERATURE: hot, at least 39

cheap beer and cheap ice-cream, what's not to love about Mexico

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: Tulum is very similar to the mullet haircut. With a mullet the top is all business, the back all fun. With Tulum you get your culture fix with the spectacular Mayan ruins that overlooks the beach - Rhaanis declared home if she was a Mayan - then a short walk away is a beautiful white sand beach and torquoise ocean. Accordingly we spent the morning visiting the ruins an the aftenoon sipping Sol on the beach.

and beach by 11.30am

UP NEXT: Isla Mujeres (Island of Women - calm down Raj)

CAYE CAULKER

Charles in charge. At 3GBP's for lobster curry he certainly was

WHERE: CAYE (pronounced key) CAULKER
WHERE (less detailed): a tiny Caribbean island off the coast of Belize
WHEN: t-40 to t-37

okay who's next to hold a shark?

WEATHER: cloudy but then brilliant sunshine as we snorkel -with hilarious consequences.
FOOD IS: amazing!!!! Lobster heaven. After what seems like a lifetime of fried chicken, rice and beans, and some disappointing lobster selections in Panama and Roatan, we are treated to some of the best lobster on the planet - including amazing ￡3 curried lobster from Charles the street vendor.

with scenery this awesome why rush?

PEOPLE ARE: so relaxed they're almost horizontal. Paul's brisk walk to try and buy a second serving of curried lobster is met with cries of "cool your engines mon" from lazing locals. The next day an exhausted cyclist catches up to a walking Rhaani and tells her "why you want walk so fast? You in Belize now"

okay I appreciate the shark might have been a little scary, my apologies, moving on, who wants to hold the stingray?

TEMPERATURE: 34-38
A BEER COSTS: 6 Belizean Belikan beers costs ￡6
DINNER COSTS: ￡13 for the biggest fresh lobster on the island. ￡8 for two almighty sized lobster skewers.

for some reason the Belizean "drink responsibly" campaign just wasn't having the desired effect

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: incredibly the food takes second place behind the amazing snorkeling. We swam with and stroked sharks (nurse, but still sharks) turtles and stingrays - although following the death of Stevo Irwin we were a little hesitant about petting the stingrays ... Rhaani's bikini bottoms inexplicably changed position exposing some virginal white bum cheek which subsequently turned a British shade of burnt.... Rhaani's burnt bottom means we hide away from the sun and watch a Harry Potter marathon... our love of lobster kebabs and lazy sunbaking forces us to stay another night.... Paul takes advantage of our English-speaking surroundings by getting a hair-cut - his first since India. Turns out the Belizeans must eat plenty of carrots as the hairdresser cut his hair in a dark room with the lights off.

try telling that to Steve Irwin

THINGS LOST/STOLEN: still managing to hold onto the rest of our stuff
UP NEXT: TULUM Mexico, home to some ruins that lie on the beach. More worryingly into our final country (as Paul refuses to count our 5 days in the USA as part of the trip).

TIKAL

Tikal Ruins, home to the ancient Mayans and also a location in the original Star Wars movie

WHERE: TIKAL ruins
WHERE (less detailed):)the northern bit of GUATEMALA
WHEN: less than six weeks before we head home
WEATHER: torrential rail in Flores, the town close to Tikal, but nicely clouded when we do our tour. When the clouds cleared we were in danger of melting.

Paul in the central plaza

FOOD IS: the crushed ice lemon soda was amazing. The chicken skewers weren't too far behind. The mojitos were a hell of a lot further behind.
PEOPLE ARE: from the loud and overbearing land of the United States. Tikal is tourist central with old half deaf American tourists raising the volume level. Our Tikal local guide used the phrase "if you want" at least once every 30s but was awesome regardless.
TEMPERATURE: in the glaring heat, at least 42.

Rhaani poses but keeps one eye out for the monkeys

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: the night spent in Honduras' very own Bates motel during our two day pilgrimage to Tikal would probably fall into the lowlight category ... the "ferry" from Honduras to Belize would also be  in that category ... finally being able to speak English as we enter former British colony Belize is certainly a highlight ... having Belizian "herbalist" Roco entertain us throughout one of the 3-buses we took through Belize ... the Tikal ruins of course fall into the highlight group, although not as decorative as other Mayan sights it's location in the middle of a jungle gives it a real "lost world" feel... braving the rivers of rain water surging through the streets to catch happy hour ...

our "ferry" to Belize

THINGS LOST/STOLEN: nowt more
UP NEXT: back to Belize and the Lilt-advert inspiring Caye Caulker island where no cars are allowed and golf-buggies serve as taxis.