SOUTH VIETNAM

I can think of worse places to spend a few January days

WHERE: Phu Quoc island and Saigon

WHERE (less detailed): South Vietnam

DAYS: 138-147

PEOPLE ARE: decades of war may have created deep-seated political and cultural differences between the residents of North and South Vietnam but the people remain united in their fearless interpretation of the Highway Code and their determination to fleece Westerners tourists. Our newest favourite being the taxi meter that jumped from 20,000d to 260,000d in the space of a street. In fairness the cab driver didn’t seem that offended when we refused to pay the full amount and seemed relatively pleased with the 60,000 (£2) we paid him.

CURRENCY IS: the most confusing yet. 30,000 Dong = £1, with the smallest note being the 3p 1,000 Dong note. And you thought a pocketful of £1 coins was a pain.

okay, now you want to cut the red wire, nothing else or she'll blow

FOOD IS: Not quite as great as Hoi An but thanks to a Julie N’Gygen tip we enjoyed a fantastic three course meal in a beautiful old colonial restaurant in Saigon for less than £20. Pho Bo noodles are surprisingly tasty despite the 30-something degree temperature outside. The Yorkshire pudding-esque breadsticks that come with the noodles are an interesting take on an old classic.

did we stumble into a Quadraphenia convention?

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: Our first sighting of sand and sun since day 6 in Kerala… we take the pace down a notch leaving “which £2 masseur should I visit today?” being the toughest choice Rhaani’s day… Rhaani finds her inner easy rider, “My speedometer broke, how fast was I going? Pretty fast right?” “about 20kmph….

she feels the need, the need for speed

...discovering the most troublesome sand to walk on… the only other downside is the sub-par food on offer on the island, Paul is particularly disappointed in the mint-choc chip milkshake which was decidedly more ice than cream….feels like the end of a holiday as we leave the beach and head for Ho Chi Minh… and we thought we’d seen crazy traffic in Hanoi. Thanks to wider streets you now have four to six lanes of thick motorbike traffic to negotiate, the trick is to slowly walk and pick spots to stop at and let the traffic pass around you….the fantastically farcical surplus telephone wires that hang at almost every street corner….rushing around the disappointing Unification Palace (a 1970’s monstrosity that was erected after the South Vietnamese bombed it in an assassination attempt on their own president (he was the guy the US were backing)…hiding from the mid-day sun by catching a matinee performances of The Tourist, at £2, actually good value for money….the War Remnants Museum - not the place to be if you hail from the US of A. Particularly gruesome was the Agent Orange Aftermath Exhibition with pictures or deformed children and fetus’ everywhere you look. Especially unsettling was the unborn baby with three faces including 6 eyes, two noses and three mouths…. while a certain home-team, anti-American sentiment is to be expected it’s pretty hard not to feel  the sentiment is justified when you see pictures of entire Vietnamese villages blown to pieces and American troops standing over the bodies of women and children….the most touristy city we’ve been to so far and the least open to bartering… the interesting book tower vendours. Books are stacked 20 high and held together with a strap as vendors walk from open front restaurant to bar…. Foolishly deciding that we couldn’t be bothered with the Mekong Delta and all yet another floating village then meeting up with our San Franciscan friend Brian who informed us it was one of his trip’s highlights.

a slightly pensive looking Rhaani steels herself to cross a Saigon road

UP NEXT: undisputed holder of the “my country’s had a far more traic past than yours” title: Cambodia