LA PAZ

La Paz, not known for its wide green spaces

WHERE: LA PAZ

WHERE (less detailed): the highest not really the capital, capital in the world

WHEN: days 229 - 232





despite the fact it was built some 800 years after the Pyramids locals seem to be pretty impressed by this amazing feat of architecture

PEOPLE ARE: still nasty, the Chirrilo women seem to cross the street to walk into you, then scowl at you for the audacity to be in their way.

just keep your distance

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: ... our evening departure from Sucre is filled with bizarreness. We're repeatedly assured our bus leaves from platform 11 despite the last platform being number 10, perhaps Bolivia has mistaken us for Harry Potter... the luggage loading system is an exercise in creating pointless jobs. You wait on the platform two minutes away from the bus, then are instructed to take your bag upstairs where it is then lowered by winch down passed where you were just standing and towards the bus. A luggage thrower then unhooks it an loads it onto the bus....

La Paz town square, and a rare piece of greenery

... despite paying for full reclining beds we only get partial reclines which paul doesn't stop pointing out for the next two hours ... funnily enough Paul has the best night’s sleep of all of us ... arriving in La Paz we are confronted by two staggering sights, first the improbable city housing plan that sees thousands of homes built into the mountain-side and secondly the ridiculously dressed tourists who have either gutted a Llama and crawled inside or they’ve bought an entire wardrobe made out of llama wool ... we soon suffer the effects of altitude. La Paz is at 3,700m and you get out of breathe drying yourself after a shower ... visiting a witches market and checking out the llama foetus' ...

Llamas foetus', good for colds, headaches and curries

... visiting the cocaine museum (amazing how such an interesting subject can be made so dull) ... possibly the worst day trip in South America, despite glowing reviews from Lonely Planet the Tawanaku Ruins are like something a four-year old might make  using a bunch of square Lego blocks - thank god the Incas came along to breathe a little creativity into the area

the girls with the only thing on the 4hr tour that was of any interest

... possibly the best day trip in the world, the World’s Most Dangerous Road, both Rhaani and Julie fail to mention the trip in conversations with their mothers hours before ... 



what happens when you don't pay attention

because this is our cycling course for the day

... descending from 4,600m to 1,600m with only a metal frame and some rubber between us and a sheer drop ... Paul prepares for the worst by offering to give Rhaani back her passport in case he goes hurtling off the edge (keeping his own for identification purposes) ... 12 in the group, 5 crashes and none of them including us - although Julie had a temporary melt-down after developing five massive blisters on her hands and not being able to find the medic van ... Rhaani maintains the scariest aspect of the whole day was the eagle that flew 40ft over her head and the snake she ran over ...

the snake was this big

...Paul's plan to be a caring boyfriend and peddle alongside Rhaani ends after barely 400m when his desperately competitive streak takes over and he abandons Rhaani to try and beat the hugely annoying Australian we keep bumping into in South America (aka Douchebag) .... luckily for Paul despite a few close calls he doesn't end up in a bloody mess ... visiting the infamous - and being warned away by machine gun toting guards - San Pedro prison where prisoners families also live inside the prison and prisoners have to buy their cells, we spot a lucky soul having a new fridge-freezer delivered ...

I've got a Hotpoint SuperFreeze for a Mr Gonzalaz, cell 119

.... a fruitless search for the Good Friday parade, turns out thousands of locals left the day before for the three day walk to Copacobana...

I'm confused, how do the KKK fit into the story of Jesus? Or do they have something to do with the Easter Bunny? 

... actually turns out they were waiting for Paul to take a much needed afternoon nap until congregating outside our hotel room ...

I fall asleep for one hour and all of a sudden I wake up in 1950's Alabama

UP NEXT: Copacobana

TUPIZA and SUCRE

is that cactus sending us a subliminal message?

WHERE: TUPIZA and SUCRE

WHERE: the bits of Bolivia we visited that weren’t around LA PAZ

WHEN: days 217-229

watch out, any second now he's going to break out in a gallop

WEATHER IS: still sunny and hot, but a bit of cold when you step into the shade.

TEMPERATURE IS: mid-30’s        

PEOPLE ARE: in Sucre our Spanish teachers are the meanest, nastiest people in the world. In Tupiza our horses are pretty cool, although a little lazy and not too interested in the whole galloping thing.  

FOOD IS: from around the world. Although an awesome country Bolivia certainly isn’t the world’s culinary capital. As a result, apart from the daily doses of Saltenas (pretty much sweet Cornish Pasties) we have three Chinese meals (not bad) two Mexicans (a little soggy for Fajitas) and Italian (actually really good).

Sucre's main church

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: TUPIZA, after the torturous 9hr bus ride from Uyuni, in which the temperature inside the bus drops to -5, we arrive at our hotel at 4am only to find out our travel agent booked us in for the next day. Fortunately the hotel has a spare room (and a pool) so we stagger to our room and collapse into our comfortable beds... the next day we saddle up and hit the trail on the same paths that Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid rode (only a little slower) ... despite our hotel having the slowest internet connection known this side of the 1980’s Paul spends six straight hours updating our blog...SUCRE, officially La Paz’s capital and a very pretty city, we arrive with a single challenge in mind - to learn Spanish. Seven days and 4hrs a day of one-on-one Spanish lessons later we couldn’t care less about Spanish and want to speak English forever... If it wasn’t for the fact that the lessons cost £4 an hour and it seemed criminal not to learn for those prices, we would have quit a week earlier....

nothing says "welcome to our sleepy market town" like an angry local holding the bloody heart torn from the body of your Spanish oppressors. 

... Paul’s tactic of buying teacher a Chirimoya (a local fruit) in the hope of getting an easy ride backfires as she tests him on all the newly taught verbs every morning and tssks whenever he gets one wrong... Rhaani and Julie’s tutor “gordo (fat)” is slightly easier going although the girls quickly realise the daily trips to the market aren’t so much educational exercises as a chance for Gordo to get them to buy his lunch for the day... we meet some 18-year-old English students who are travelling around South America doing charity work...Paul wonders if he should be embarrassed that he’s been on earth for twice as long and hasn’t done a day’s charity work in his life ...

UP NEXT: LA PAZ

the SALAR de UYUNI three day Salt Plains tour

WARNING: The following blog contains pictures of outstanding natural beauty. Even the briefest exposure to such images are likely to make you want to quit your job immediately and book a ticket to Bolivia. Please make sure your boss is out of the office before you start reading. Thank you.

Rhaani's lack of breathe mints proves a big hit with our new friends

WHERE: the SALAR de UYUNI three day Salt Plains tour


Julie and Rhaani enjoy the scorched earth scenery

WHERE (less detailed): northern Chile into Southern Bolivia


the reason Bolivian drug lords don't have sleepless nights worrying about logistics

 WHEN: days 213-216


wow

WEATHER IS: very mixed, sometimes very windy, sometimes very cold, sometimes hot.

more cool scenery

TEMPERATURE IS: at night pretty freezing, during the day 25-ish 

the only way to travel, no really it is, there's no other way through

PEOPLE ARE: awesome as we luck out and have another three great tourists with us in our 4x4. Even the agency’s other jeep is filled with a great bunch of tourists. The locals on the other hand are just mean, surly, nasty mean – especially the one that stones Paul (more of that later). There are six of us in the 4x4, us, a young British/Irish couple and the most nonchalant Dutch student ever. When asked what he studied he simply replied “I don’t know.” We named him Disco Maarten as he looked as if he’d gone to a club, got hammered then gone straight to the airport. He didn’t even bring a camera on a 6months trip. (ed note: Rhaani reckons Paul liked our new friend Irish Paul because he thought UK Paul was 26 and not 36.)

the gang



FOOD IS: surprisingly good. Although Paul failed to taste any on the first night as he lost his appetite to altitude sickness. Considering we were in the middle of the desert we lucked out with some tasty Chicken cutlets, awesome soup and some quality spag bol.

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: Where to start? Without doubt the best thing we’ve done since leaving the UK. Originally we’d thought the first two days would just be driving but instead we had amazing scenery every day, morning, noon and night: the white lagoon, the red lagoon, the Dali Rock Desert – all spectacular... 

Paul poses relatively safe in the knowledge that its a mineral imbalance that causes the lake to run red, not a nearby genocide.


APOLOGIES: due to the slowest internet connection known this side of the 1990's were are going to have to break this post in two and continue tomorrow with the best pics. Apologies once again

That's it Paul, you go behind that bush

...which leads to the stoning incident. No joke. Paul had earlier paid to use her toilet which was absolutely disgusting, so when Rhaani needs to go both Paul and Rhaani decide to go behind a rock. Suddenly we’re being shouted at by an angry lady in traditional garb. Rhaani hightails it but Paul persists. After relieving himself Paul walks past the still shouting lady and tells her in his best broken Spanish “Your toilet is too dirty, needs clean”. A fraction of a second later Paul feels the impact of a fist sized rock that strikes his back. When he turns he sees the still angry woman at the end of a throwing action...  

Nothing to worry about here right? just some locals hanging out?

                                      Wrong! in a flash these nasty bitches are spoiling for a fight

...Rhaani revels in the fact that despite her asthma and other various ailments she stays as strong as an ox while Paul turns white, loses his appetite and goes to bed early... we enjoy the warmest baths ever when we jump into the thermal springs ...

where are we again?

...finally at the Salt Planes and we’re all a little worried as it still has a fair amount of surface water on it... but it is still spectacular, as white as the eye can see ... the next three hours are filled with us trying to get the hang of illusionary photography and covering ourselves with salt.... as we drive back to Uyuni and the end of the tour Paul leans out the car to take a photo of some seated Bolivian women in traditional clothing and suddenly another rock is hurtling towards the jeep ...

FUN PHOTOGRAPHY

UP NEXT: Tupiza, cowboy country and the closest town to where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid were killed.





SAN PEDRO de ATACAMA

You know your in for a treat when this is the insignificant scenery that precedes the supposedly awesome Salt Plains.

WHERE: SAN PEDRO de ATACAMA

WHERE (less detailed): back in CHILE, but this time the very north of Chile

Only Paul would think to ruin scenery like this with a silly bandana

WHEN: days 213-215
WEATHER IS: no change on the hot and sunny front.
TEMPERATURE IS: usual mid to low-30’s, as per usual

Now that's so much better isn't it?

PEOPLE ARE: nice enough. Our tour operator turns out to have lived in Ealing and is extra-helpful booking our bus at the end of the tour and arranging accommodation for us. We looked at a few agencies and decide to go with the one whose 4x4 didn’t flip over in the desert (although Paul thought the £10 saved per head was worth the risk.)...

Julie, better watch out for those tan-lines

FOOD IS: patchy. We have a great dinner one night but return to the same establishment the next morning and have very mediocre omelettes. We also buy our own bodyweight in water (actually 6ltrs per person) in preparation for our trip.

the girl's live life on the edge, well actually about 10ft from the edge, but have you seen the edge? It's pretty scary over there.

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: our 10hr bus ride takes us above 3,000m and gives us our first taste of altitude sickness as we wake up after a little nap with dreadful headaches...we subsequently find out that beef, fizzy drinks, caffeine and milk tend to increase the severity of sickness. Paul realises his dinner of steak and cola, and his breakfast of cereal and a cup of tea might not have been the wisest of choices... while kicking our heels ahead of our departure we decide to take in some local sights. Rhaani and Julie watch the sunset at Valley de la Luna while Paul tries his hand at sand-boarding...

Snowboarding... Surfing... you can now add Sandboarding to the list of boardsports Paul blows at

UP NEXT: the Salar de Uyuni (Salt Plains) tour.

SALTA and CAFAYATE



Rhaani and Julie think they've found Nirvana

WHERE: SALTA and CAFAYATE

WHERE (less detailed): far north ARGENTINA

WHEN: days 210-213

Calayate, a quaint little town, unlike Salta, which is, well..shit

WEATHER IS: still sunny and hot, not death valley hot, but hot.

TEMPERATURE IS: usual mid-30’s, normal temperature, you know

Salta. You better like this square cos there's f@ck all else to see

PEOPLE ARE: very helpful. Although we wonder if they actually speak Spanish. In our Salta hostel the waitress asks if Paul wants some “te (tea)” Paul says “Si” and the lady comes back with a cup of Coffee (cafe). We then ask for some marmalade “Marmalada” and she says “Si” and brings us some sugar??? We go out shopping for ingredients for a home cooked meal and the shopkeepers couldn’t be more helpful.

the Littlest Hobo SAm style.

FOOD IS: patchy. We have what looks like bread rocks in the same Salta hotel but the best tasting Parillia steak in Cafayate.

okay Salta, I'll admit this is pretty cool too, but that's it

HIGHLIGHTS/LOWLIGHTS: SALTA ... we give Julie the chance to impress as accommodation booker and she books us in to a prison, “I think it’s a school,” says Rhaani. “If it is they take education pretty seriously around her as there’s an armed guard in a watchtower making sure no-one skips double French”...

watchtower we have two runners from Mrs Johnson's third period maths class, shoot to kill

...that night we’re woken up to the sound of smashing glass and fear a prison break is underway... the lovely quaint town of Salta that Lonely Planet promises turns out to be 400m2 of quaintness surrounded by 2miles2 of dump... Rhaani and Julie visit the child sacrifice museum (the locals used to sacrifice “honoured” children in the name of fertility”... Paul visits a children’s bookstore and buys an 8+over book in the hope of improving his Spanish...

Sergio Leonne would be proud

... we once again suffer under the “Everything is closed on a... Sunday” rule as we wander around a deserted Salta with its beautiful square and the cool San Francisco church... CAFAYATE ... we nearly miss our bus to Cafayate after Paul checks the wrong ticket and has us standing at the wrong platform until 2mins before our bus leaves... a scenic bus ride through the Corada to wine country...finally we find a quaint town with a quaint hostel and a quaint garden ... the hostel’s Parilla wasn’t quite so quaint. While the quality of the meat was outstanding it wasn’t nearly as bountiful. Fortunately for Paul the servers start at his end of the table and he gets a few tasty chunks...Rhaani and Julie visit six vineyards and even find time for red wine ice cream (which is dreadful)... the pair manage to get their exercise quota in as they hire bikes to visit the further away vineyards....the pair adopt a stray dog the name “Happy”...

UP NEXT: San Pedro de Atacama, the start of the Salar de Uyuni tour.