Fort Kochi

Where: Fort Kochi

not a fort...Chinese fishing nets

Where (less detailed): central Kerala, India

Weather: ordinary sunshine but added to our existing sunburn feel like a pair of ginger kids in the fires of hell.

Temperature: about 34 degrees

Food: very good but so far haven’t ate in a place that hasn’t been filled with Lonely Planet-wielding sixth form students. Feel like I’m learning A*Level chemistry and all about Kent by osmosis.

Locals: nice enough but everyone seems to own an arts and crafts stall.

streets....not a fort

Adventures/Highlights/Lowlights: The Fort Kochies are a complete bunch of liars, first of all their Dutch Palace has absolutely no palatiousness, secondly my genuine 99p Diesel plastic belt turned out to be a fake, thirdly a 2hr yoga class only runs for 60 minutes but most importantly there is absolutely no bloody Fort in Fort Kochi...

Days since Rhaani last pooed: 4

Overall: a very nice place to wander and waste some time. Clean and friendly

Up next: Jaipur, Rajisthan, still India